Kalri$$ian, Music for your ear holes

Lounge, Hip Hop, Funk and Gospel


Remember those hauntingly handsome gents that used to live up above you in yer apartment building? You know the ones that used to stomp on you, have late night parties, bum yer cigarettes, flirt incessantly with yer girlfriends, and keep you up at all hours with the headboards banging ? Remember how you hated them, but at the same time wanted to be their friends, or shit, even in some weird way you wanted to be the one getting yer head banged on the bed frame ? Well, thats your own issue dude. Chill the fuck out, cuz Kalri$$ian don’t roll like that. We’re just here to say that those players have a sound and vision that is special. A true story from the streets of the Bay. So, have a fuckin listen and shut up. Lots more amazing shit on the way! Spread the word …

KALRI$$IAN’s debut record “Tales from the Velvet Pocket” does with 50s and 60s lounge music what “Enter the Wu-Tang” did with kung-fu movies – setting a substance-fueled James Bond backdrop for the unadulteratedly sleazy tale of a money-losing male escort service, a botched casino robbery, and pervasive sexual depravation. Featuring guest appearances from Mickey Avalon and Dirt Nasty, it’s the black comedy hip hop album of the year.

Who are these men of mystery?

And women of infamy?


Felix Livinglow, “Uncle” Tony Highrise, Smooth Rick Chosen, Tyrone Shoelaces, Keylo Venezuela, Chachi Harlem. Managed by Bernie “The Touch” Goldstein. Made sexy by Kitty Lamoure, Holly Blowlightly, and Tera Lord Masters.